Finish what you started. From a young age you’ve heard that from parents, teachers, and coaches. It suggests you stick with it; you can do it, and think through your decisions because you can’t always change them. Good lessons to learn.
Some people learned them well – maybe too well – because they feel they always have to finish what they started, no matter the circumstances. Is it good to always finish what you started? I believe the answer is no. I believe there are times when it’s smart to go against your training and not finish what you started.
When you have second thoughts about finishing something you started, answering these questions will help you decide when it’s smart to not finish.
Why did you start in the first place? What did you want the result to be?
Do you still want what you wanted when you started?
What is the cost to continue, and the cost to stop and move in another direction?
Will continuing your efforts get you what you originally wanted?
If you answered that you still want what you started out wanting, that it’s still possible to obtain, and the price is still worth it, then continue, and finish what you started.
Consider not finishing what you started when:
you no longer want what you originally wanted
it costs more to continue than you believe it is worth
you will never get what you started out wanting with your current plan
Resist the temptation to label yourself a quitter and start justifying not finishing to others and yourself. You’re not quitting – you are making a wise decision because you had the courage to be completely honest and admit to yourself things like:
you originally wanted safely and security – but now you want to be a risk taker
you thought you wanted boundless wealth – but found the price is not worth the reward
you believed this career choice would lead to happiness – it hasn’t and it never will
These decisions are obviously more difficult when they involve other people or already cost you a tremendous amount of time, effort, and money. It’s not unusual to say, “I can’t stop now because I will have wasted all this time, effort and money.” But is it really wasted?
If there’s a lesson you needed to learn through that event, and the only way you could learn it is to invest time, effort and money – if you learn the lesson, then the investment has not been wasted. It’s the price of growth, of progress; it’s the investment we make in ourselves.
Sometimes the only way you can see what’s on the other side of the mountain is to climb the mountain. In addition, sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know till you know it – and knowing it changes everything!
Any decisions you need to rethink? Have the courage to not finish what you started when it’s the smartest decision you can make to achieve your dreams.
Are you giving up on yourself and others too quickly – keeping yourself from accomplishing all you are capable of? If so, I’d like to help you change that self-defeating behavior.
We all know that if you’re responsible for getting a young adult or teenager to clean their room, study, stop a destructive behavior, or set the table, you need to ask or tell them repeatedly.
When it comes to adults, however, we expect that one time of asking or telling them (or ourselves) is sufficient. Man, that would be nice, but I don’t believe it works that way.
We don’t hit some demarcation line called adulthood – and in an instant – changing and disciplining our behavior becomes easy. Yet, I find people who believe it should be, and get frustrated when it isn’t.
Managers complain they repeatedly need to tell experienced employees to do their jobs – and shouldn’t have to say it more than once.
People say they’ve told a friend who’s engaged in a destructive behavior just how destructive it is – many times – and telling them once should have been enough.
Entrepreneurs attempt to start a business multiple times, still aren’t successful, and believe the effort they expended ought to have been enough.
Saying those words leads to one emotion – frustration. Frustration that you didn’t get the results you expected. The problem isn’t that you set an expectation of what you thought it should take, it’s that you chose to get frustrated and give up. I know it’s tempting to respond that way, but it’s keeping you from reaching your potential.
Whether you were realistic and justified, or idealistic to expect what you did, the reality is that you or they did not meet your expectation. How do you respond when that happens? I suggest you accept the reality of what is, move past the paralysis of frustration as quickly as you can, and ask yourself two questions. Am I required to put more time and energy into this situation, and is the potential result worth the additional time and effort?
An answer of no to both suggests you let it go, and the frustration should leave.
If the frustration persists, you may have underestimated the importance of this – so reconsider your answers to the two questions.
An answer of yes to either suggests you (re)design how to get different results.
Will you use a different approach or strategy? Get more information or ask for someone’s help?
Whatever you choose to do, I believe the more important it is to you, the more whatever it takes is the only appropriate time and effort limit!
You say, “I tried five times.” I say, “Maybe for you, it’s going to take eight times.”
You say, “I already spent 16 hours on this.” I say, “Maybe you need 25 hours.”
At times, the only person keeping you from success is you, by the limits you set!
Do you have the skills and desire to go further, to do more and accomplish more than you have to this point? Be patient and persistent with yourself and others – and remove the limits.
Leading teams through change was a daily activity for managers in the heyday of corporate downsizing and restructuring. Leaders became change hardy – accustomed to dealing with change. Those same skills are needed today, as change is back with a vengeance. Let’s review important change principles and terminology.
Change is something that happens in an instant, with a decision
Processing the change is called a transition and takes time
There are two transitions – personal and organizational
The two transitions occur simultaneously but are not always equally successful
While being the guiding light to support your team through their personal transitions, you also need to manage the team transition and your transition. It’s a tough position to be in, but that’s why you are in the leadership role.
Now is your time to display the strength and character the company saw in you to select you for leadership. Having co-written the Change Management Workshop for a worldwide career consulting company, I have several helpful tips.
Contrary to popular belief, employees don’t always resist change and struggle to accept it. Beyond understanding the transition curve and continually assessing where your team is on the curve, you need to know the two factors that help teams accept change and successfully transition.
Employees tend to accept change more when they choose it (or have input into the change) OR when they benefit by it. How do you involve the team to take advantage of these?
Upper management requires that something change – have the team choose what changes
Upper management specifies what changes – have the team choose how to implement it
You share with the team how you believe they benefit by the change
Ask or task the team to identify how they believe they benefit by the change
Realize that even the smallest amount of input or benefit goes a long way. Do your best to find ways to give the team input where you can, and help them see the benefit(s); even the frequently overlooked and downplayed benefits.
One additional tip – during major change a common leader reaction is to withdraw. In his book Managing Transitions William Bridges suggests just the opposite is needed.
Be more visible,
more accessible,
more supportive,
give them more direction,
provide them with more structure,
communicate more, and listen more!
The small things you do for them will be appreciated now more than ever.
One last point – please take care of yourself – you are needed at the front!
That’s my perspective, what’s yours? Leave us a comment or question below this post and don’t miss the video on this topic on YouTube!
Life is a compromise – we all know that – no one gets everything they want (sorry to disappoint you, idealists, out there). I, for one, want to compromise the least and have the fewest regrets about the compromises I make. What is my strategy?
Make smart, well informed, well thought out decisions, considering all the facts as I know them and anticipating the consequences of each option. A principle I apply that impacts consequences is the minimum you accept is the maximum you get. This suggests that where you compromise in life, whatever level or amount, quantity or quality you settle for, life rarely comes along and gives you more.
If you’re satisfied with a C in class, that’s probably the highest grade you’ll receive.
If you’re ok with living paycheck to paycheck, financial freedom is unrealistic.
If you settle for the ease of living an unhealthy life, pain-free longevity is a long shot.
If you’re accepting of a good relationship, don’t expect that one day it will become great.
Why? The answer is simple. When you settle, you don’t do the things necessary to get more.
So, if life rarely gives you more than you are satisfied with, what do you compromise on? Things I do my best to not compromise on are the things that are most important to me. Things that:
if they were increased or added to my life, I would be happy and excited,
if they were reduced or taken away, I would be upset and disappointed.
Jim Collins wrote the book Good To Great. On the first page, he wrote, “Good is the enemy of great and that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great. We don’t have great schools primarily because we have good schools. We don’t have great government primarily because we have good government. Few people attain great lives in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.”
I’m not suggesting you should settle for nothing less than a great life – that is your decision. What I am suggesting is certain things are important to you, and you might want to think seriously about where you set the minimum acceptance level in those areas.
When I sit at the table of life to cash my chips in for the last time, I want to be at peace that I created a life that led to the fewest regrets.
I take into account that priorities change over a lifetime, and adjust my strategy accordingly. I identify, every so often, the things that are really important to me, and do my best to settle the least in those areas.
What is most important to YOU today? Is it time you revisited that question?
The minimum you accept is the maximum you get – considering it will help you make better decisions that lead to fewer regrets.
That’s my perspective, what’s yours? Leave us a comment or question below this post and don’t miss the video on this topic on YouTube!
During the heyday of downsizing in corporate America, I worked as a trainer for a career consulting company and taught managers how to terminate employees with respect and dignity. It’s one of the most difficult duties a manager will ever perform; those who have done it will confirm that. I would tell managers how it happens lingers longer than what happens.
Long after separated employees have picked up their lives and moved on to new jobs their most vivid memories will not be that they were let go, but how they were let go – how the manager and the company treated them during the process.
I believe how lingers longer than what applies to many situations, not just difficult corporate layoffs. Everyday situations like:
You get interrupted during dinner by a sales call. Do you communicate you don’t want to buy what they are selling in a nice or not-nice way?
You need to deliver a personal message to a family member, colleague or friend. Do you deliver the message in front of others and embarrass them or courteously pull them away from the group and deliver it one-on-one in a thoughtful way?
How it happens also applies to what should be positive, pleasant situations.
You give someone a gift. Do you make it a special event or throw it – unwrapped – across the table at them as if you can’t wait to get rid of it?
You give someone a compliment. Can they hear in the way you deliver the compliment that you mean it, or does it sound like you have to say something but your heart isn’t in it?
I’m sure you remember a situation in your life that should have been delightful but was botched by an uncaring and inconsiderate approach. Likewise, you can remember a tough situation that was eased a bit because the person took the time and effort to handle it with grace and dignity.
It only takes a little more time and effort to deliver a message in a way the person will remember fondly, but it requires you consider how best to do it. The easiest way is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and imagine how you would feel if you were the receiver.
That doesn’t always guarantee a spot on approach since people value different things, but it gives you peace of mind that you thought it through and gave it your best effort. Remember to keep respect and dignity in the equation; they are always appreciated.
It’s just something to think about ahead of time, so when you think about it later, you’ll be proud of how you handled it, and they will have the best chance of remembering it fondly.
That’s my perspective, what’s yours? Leave us a comment or question below this post and don’t miss the video on this topic on YouTube!
