Do you spend more time doing things you have to do and less time doing what you want to do? It’s time to reprioritize your life, to take some time to waste some time. What do I mean?
Schedule four hours to sit under a tree or in some quiet, peaceful place, and do nothing. If you just said, “I don’t have four hours to sit under a tree” you really need to do this exercise!
Don’t take your phone, tablet, computer or book. Quiet the noise, focus on nothing, do nothing, just listen. And if you just said, “I can’t sit still that long,” keep reading because I address that in a minute! When you listen to your life, it will tell you the changes to make to be happier.
There are two approaches you could use to reprioritize your life:
systematically analyze every facet of your life (sounds like work)
shutdown, quiet the noise and let the answers come to you (peaceful choice)
When you quiet that competing noise, the answers you’re searching for will be heard loud and clear. If you’re not convinced your life talks to you, where do you think the messages ‘don’t eat that’ and ‘why am I standing here looking at the food in my refrigerator’ come from?
Finding four hours may seem tough, but it’s worth it. You’ll end up determining if the stuff you’ve crammed your life full of is the stuff that will make you happy or not! How cool is that!
Don’t be afraid to slow down, knowing you’ll hear the messages. If the messages are disappointing or painful, use them as a motivator to change. Pain is there for a reason; it’s there to help you, and it’s telling you something is wrong. So change something!
The first step to change what’s wrong is to face the pain, understand it, and then decide what, when and how to change. In the movie I Am Not Your Negro, James Baldwin said, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
One last thing, change the narrative that being super busy is cool. People brag about how busy they are and wear it like a badge of honor, implying that staying busy equates to being important and significant. Sometimes busy only equates to busy. Don’t confuse activity for progress, especially if staying busy all the time is not making you happy.
“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” – Socrates
Life is going faster and faster all on its own. Don’t be a victim of it; control the pace and activities of your life by consciously choosing them based on messages you hear while quiet.
Take some time to waste some time.
You don’t have to do it every week, or even every month
Do it the next time your life seems out of control and chaotic
If four hours seems too long, try two hours, or an hour, or 15 minutes
If your brain resists slowing down the first time you try, keep at it and try a second and third time. Eventually, it will slow down enough, and the messages will clearly reveal how to increase joy and happiness and create the life you always knew was possible.
Finish what you started. From a young age you’ve heard that from parents, teachers, and coaches. It suggests you stick with it; you can do it, and think through your decisions because you can’t always change them. Good lessons to learn.
Some people learned them well – maybe too well – because they feel they always have to finish what they started, no matter the circumstances. Is it good to always finish what you started? I believe the answer is no. I believe there are times when it’s smart to go against your training and not finish what you started.
When you have second thoughts about finishing something you started, answering these questions will help you decide when it’s smart to not finish.
Why did you start in the first place? What did you want the result to be?
Do you still want what you wanted when you started?
What is the cost to continue, and the cost to stop and move in another direction?
Will continuing your efforts get you what you originally wanted?
If you answered that you still want what you started out wanting, that it’s still possible to obtain, and the price is still worth it, then continue, and finish what you started.
Consider not finishing what you started when:
you no longer want what you originally wanted
it costs more to continue than you believe it is worth
you will never get what you started out wanting with your current plan
Resist the temptation to label yourself a quitter and start justifying not finishing to others and yourself. You’re not quitting – you are making a wise decision because you had the courage to be completely honest and admit to yourself things like:
you originally wanted safely and security – but now you want to be a risk taker
you thought you wanted boundless wealth – but found the price is not worth the reward
you believed this career choice would lead to happiness – it hasn’t and it never will
These decisions are obviously more difficult when they involve other people or already cost you a tremendous amount of time, effort, and money. It’s not unusual to say, “I can’t stop now because I will have wasted all this time, effort and money.” But is it really wasted?
If there’s a lesson you needed to learn through that event, and the only way you could learn it is to invest time, effort and money – if you learn the lesson, then the investment has not been wasted. It’s the price of growth, of progress; it’s the investment we make in ourselves.
Sometimes the only way you can see what’s on the other side of the mountain is to climb the mountain. In addition, sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know till you know it – and knowing it changes everything!
Any decisions you need to rethink? Have the courage to not finish what you started when it’s the smartest decision you can make to achieve your dreams.
Life is a compromise – we all know that – no one gets everything they want (sorry to disappoint you, idealists, out there). I, for one, want to compromise the least and have the fewest regrets about the compromises I make. What is my strategy?
Make smart, well informed, well thought out decisions, considering all the facts as I know them and anticipating the consequences of each option. A principle I apply that impacts consequences is the minimum you accept is the maximum you get. This suggests that where you compromise in life, whatever level or amount, quantity or quality you settle for, life rarely comes along and gives you more.
If you’re satisfied with a C in class, that’s probably the highest grade you’ll receive.
If you’re ok with living paycheck to paycheck, financial freedom is unrealistic.
If you settle for the ease of living an unhealthy life, pain-free longevity is a long shot.
If you’re accepting of a good relationship, don’t expect that one day it will become great.
Why? The answer is simple. When you settle, you don’t do the things necessary to get more.
So, if life rarely gives you more than you are satisfied with, what do you compromise on? Things I do my best to not compromise on are the things that are most important to me. Things that:
if they were increased or added to my life, I would be happy and excited,
if they were reduced or taken away, I would be upset and disappointed.
Jim Collins wrote the book Good To Great. On the first page, he wrote, “Good is the enemy of great and that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great. We don’t have great schools primarily because we have good schools. We don’t have great government primarily because we have good government. Few people attain great lives in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.”
I’m not suggesting you should settle for nothing less than a great life – that is your decision. What I am suggesting is certain things are important to you, and you might want to think seriously about where you set the minimum acceptance level in those areas.
When I sit at the table of life to cash my chips in for the last time, I want to be at peace that I created a life that led to the fewest regrets.
I take into account that priorities change over a lifetime, and adjust my strategy accordingly. I identify, every so often, the things that are really important to me, and do my best to settle the least in those areas.
What is most important to YOU today? Is it time you revisited that question?
The minimum you accept is the maximum you get – considering it will help you make better decisions that lead to fewer regrets.
That’s my perspective, what’s yours? Leave us a comment or question below this post and don’t miss the video on this topic on YouTube!
During the heyday of downsizing in corporate America, I worked as a trainer for a career consulting company and taught managers how to terminate employees with respect and dignity. It’s one of the most difficult duties a manager will ever perform; those who have done it will confirm that. I would tell managers how it happens lingers longer than what happens.
Long after separated employees have picked up their lives and moved on to new jobs their most vivid memories will not be that they were let go, but how they were let go – how the manager and the company treated them during the process.
I believe how lingers longer than what applies to many situations, not just difficult corporate layoffs. Everyday situations like:
You get interrupted during dinner by a sales call. Do you communicate you don’t want to buy what they are selling in a nice or not-nice way?
You need to deliver a personal message to a family member, colleague or friend. Do you deliver the message in front of others and embarrass them or courteously pull them away from the group and deliver it one-on-one in a thoughtful way?
How it happens also applies to what should be positive, pleasant situations.
You give someone a gift. Do you make it a special event or throw it – unwrapped – across the table at them as if you can’t wait to get rid of it?
You give someone a compliment. Can they hear in the way you deliver the compliment that you mean it, or does it sound like you have to say something but your heart isn’t in it?
I’m sure you remember a situation in your life that should have been delightful but was botched by an uncaring and inconsiderate approach. Likewise, you can remember a tough situation that was eased a bit because the person took the time and effort to handle it with grace and dignity.
It only takes a little more time and effort to deliver a message in a way the person will remember fondly, but it requires you consider how best to do it. The easiest way is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and imagine how you would feel if you were the receiver.
That doesn’t always guarantee a spot on approach since people value different things, but it gives you peace of mind that you thought it through and gave it your best effort. Remember to keep respect and dignity in the equation; they are always appreciated.
It’s just something to think about ahead of time, so when you think about it later, you’ll be proud of how you handled it, and they will have the best chance of remembering it fondly.
That’s my perspective, what’s yours? Leave us a comment or question below this post and don’t miss the video on this topic on YouTube!
Want more enjoyment and excitement in your life, but can’t find the time or the space? If so, you are not alone, lots of people do. Interestingly enough, there’s one barrier that keeps most people at bay. When you identify what it is and remove it, wonderful things can happen.
By the way, the busier you are the more you’ll benefit by this message.
A couple of days ago I was in my doctor’s office. My doctor is fabulous and if you have a 10 o’clock appointment, nine out of ten times at 10 o’clock he’s sitting right in front of you. This day he was running late. The nurse came in and said, “Craig, I want to apologize, we’re running late. I’ll do my best to get you out of here on time.” I responded, “Take your time; I’m not in any particular hurry.” That shocked her, and she replied, “Thank you very much for that because it seems like just about everybody else is.”
Her response validated what I’ve been suggesting for years; that many of you have your lives so packed full of stuff, you’re running from one event to the next and not enjoying each one as you go. If you compared your life to a computer hard drive or a USB and clicked Properties, you would read Used Space 100%, Free Space 0%.
The frustrating part is when you’re trying to add something new to your life, there’s no space for it. Where do you find the space? Obviously, you first need to delete something, but what gets deleted from your life to make space to embrace something new?
You probably remember a time when you deleted something in a hurry and deleted the wrong thing. You only realized you deleted the wrong thing after it was gone and you couldn’t get it back.
I’m happy to say there’s a simple way to avoid that type of mistake.
Charlie Rose once interviewed Bill Gates and Warren Buffett in the same interview. At one point in the interview Bill Gates said what he really learned from Warren was that, “You control your time. Sitting and thinking may be a much higher priority… it’s not a proxy of your seriousness that you’ve filled every minute in your schedule.”
While you don’t have total control of how you spend your time, the person who most controls it is YOU. You can slow down and think how best to spend it, or be a victim to it. It’s your decision!
The more your life is packed full of stuff and the more you want to make space to embrace something new in your life, the more I suggest the first thing you make space to embrace is time to seriously think through the decision of what you’re going to delete.
Make it a priority to carve out some time to think this decision through. When you do, you’ll have confidence that you deleted the right thing, you won’t regret the decision, and you free up space for the new.
I wish you well Making Space To Embrace all the new, exciting, wonderful things that can be yours in this lifetime. But remember, if your life is currently packed full, you first have to hit DELETE.
Deleting leads to adding, and adding fun is always a good decision!
That’s my perspective, what’s yours? Leave us a comment or question below this post and don’t miss the video on this topic on YouTube!
When life isn’t going the way you want, wouldn’t it be great to turn it around in your favor; to tilt the world your way a bit?! The good news is that everyone has a Recipe For Success; life ingredients, that when mixed together in the proper proportions reward us with fulfillment, happiness, and success. They make life exciting again.
A sad fact is that only certain people know their recipe well enough to access it when they most need it. Lots of people could be happier than they currently are. Knowing your Recipe For Success allows you to quickly transform a marginal situation into a memorable one.
The process to identify your recipe is simple and fun.
Step 1: Open a blank word doc or find a blank sheet of paper and label it Exciting Time #1.
Step 2: Here’s the fun part. Think about a time when life was fantastic; you were happy, content, and at peace. Identify all the things that made it great, and write them down.
Categories to consider might include:
Relationships – with whom, how much time you spent with each person
Living arrangement – where, what type, what made it memorable
Free time – activities, how much or often, with whom
Job / career situation – type of work, hours spent, commute distance
Daily attitude about life – why it was what it was
Other significant events / characteristics
Step 3: Create a similar list for a second and third time, and label them Exciting Time #2 & #3.
Step 4: Compare the three lists and identify items that all three lists have in common. Add them to list #4 titled Recipe for Success.
Note: In identifying the items the lists have in common, list their general characteristic rather than the specific one. For instance, if you had a different job on each list, but what they had in common was that you enjoyed them and they were rewarding, add an enjoyable, rewarding job to list #4 rather than the title of each job. Or, if you lived in three different locations, but they were all pleasant surroundings, add lived in pleasant surroundings to list #4.
Step 5: Compare the lists a second time, identify items on two of the three lists, and add them to list #4.
Step 6: Look at all three lists a third time. Is there any item from one list that is so important to your happiness you want to add it to list #4? If so, add it. Now take a long, hard look at list #4.
What you just created is a personalized template or Recipe For Success; ingredients that when mixed together in the proper proportions have proven in the past to lead to happiness and enjoyment. Anytime you want to change your life in a positive direction, it’s a simple process to look at your Recipe and compare it to the current state of your life.
Doing so will reveal what to keep, change or create. While you may not be able to immediately adjust life to what your recipe requires, knowing what to do is step one to creating a happier you! Cook on my friend!
That’s my perspective, what’s yours? Leave us a comment or question below this post and don’t miss the video on this topic on YouTube!
